its true that you never realise what you've got til you lose it.
cliche yes but true.

we cant stop it from happening though. it seems inevitable.
humans tend to unknowingly take others, be it friends or family, for granted. and its sad when we hurt them without meaning to.

sigh. dunno la. a bit sad. i take so many things for granted, i wish i didn't, but nothing can change that. i guess its time for amends! :)

amerpro's coming up from 4th - 9th dec. i'm pretty excited though i'm not playing cos of lessons. :)

i've decided what to get for him already, interesting how he's the first guy who actually doesn't want something practical, going instead for sentimental keepsakes. i hope he likes it though.
i appreciate all the sending-home-if-its-after-ten. and all the very random and zao sia singing. and all the entertaining, and of course the heart to heart conversations. looks like skype's gonna be in use again! my microphone's dusty i swear.

thank goodness i get to send him off before i head to korea for my ski escapade.
5 layers of clothes. seriously. i might still be freezing my ass off even with that 5 layers.
gonna stuff myself with shitloads of kimchi, and hopefully be able to da bao some home. for my kimchi-loving friends.

i've hardly gone out in the past week or so, was up to my neck with assignments projects and presentations. there's a mock interview next week for comm skill. im shit scared also. sigh. barely have time to breathe. hopefully dec is gonna be better.

i'm choosing my commitments very carefully. every step i take now is thought through carefully. i guess i'm being very cynical. there's so many things holding me back. but i know i wont put myself through it again. its painful, and i wont succumb this time. once you fall, you'll get sucked in deeper and deeper, and thats something i cant afford right now. not now.
sigh.

back to reports.

Meredith(voice over): There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully.

a few more weeks. and a very good friend's leaving.
i dont know what i would do without the late night conversations.

i'll miss you. i really will.

indeed. it has been a very eventful week.

i went for the 7 Month Itch held at MOX on Sat night, which was actually very good in my opinion. Basically an eye opener. I have never discussed such issues like that before, and was never placed in such a situation. It was very interactive, and interestingly enough, my dear Meng was the first member of the audience to be thrust into the spotlight. He looked bewildered at first, but his dialogue was good! It's definitely hard to come up with lines and all that when you're under the scrutiny of other ppl. And Timothy Nga IS HOT HOT HOT. I was enlightened la really, many questions were answered too. Things that I have thought about before, but never really got around to asking. There was a lot of humour, and it made for delightful scenarios. Meng's GP teacher, whom he bumped into there, was really good with his lines and acting. Natural.

We headed to Maxwell after that for dinner (long overdue if I might add), and we had dim sum and egg bean curd. the tau huey kind. I wasnt very hungry la. We then headed for another night of atrocity. lets just say, i drank a tad too much.....
a couple of shared flaming lamborghinis, a shared waterfall, a few shooters, and good game to me. thats it la. i'm staying off for a few weeks. honest to God.

So I went home feeling very hungry, and very much sober, and tucked into a good old Macdonalds fillet meal while waiting for my turn to use the shower. slept like a log. and i have no idea why i woke up so damn freaking early. sigh.

Anyway, polite games drew to a close on Monday, and it left me with very very good memories to cherish for the rest of my life. I was really sad because it was my last chance to play for my school, but seeing the happy faces around at SP lifted my spirits. I am very proud of my juniors because i know they have played their best under the immense pressure. They did not back down, and i'm thankful for that. Even the year ones played well even against much better opponents. Thank you. =)

the whole atmosphere at SP was much better than last year, everyone got along really well, and there wasn't much animosity if i'm not wrong. There were a few bad comments here and there, but it's all part and parcel of this competition. I'll definitely miss those times when i look back in future. I definitely will. Thank you to those who have supported me, thank you to the referees and markers for my games, and thank you to my team. Thank you. Oh yes, and thank you to Mr Terence Ho for making us feel at home.
He smsed me "Be a good girl and go home. Take care and will see ya around k."
LOL it made me laugh. Because why does he think i would be going out at such a LATE HOUR!?
Yay, gonna have a game with him...soon i hope. :)

i'm glad zixuan's alright. i was scared stiff when i saw him lose balance and collapsed right in the court, just before sam served. He started gasping for air and he turned purple. i was really really stunned. i'm glad he's alright now. Mao said the medics told her he suffered fits due to muscle fatigue and due to being down with high fever the night before. Sigh. and Sam had a sprained ankle too. Sigh.

anyway, i actually shouted out my support during his match, and he looked up and smiled at me. for quite some time. I was trying not to melt right through the floor. Mao can attest to that. I was holding onto her for support. I swear that killer smile finished me off. indeed.
im so not gonna elaborate. i dont even know how to put it in words. AIYA. i'll just bounce and bounce, like how i bounced that day in the lecture theatre when mao msged me saying she saw that too! WEEEEEEEEEEE!

I almost died doing 3D unigraphics drawing on Tuesday. 6 bloody straight hours. the only break i had was for dinner. and then i was back to staring at the screen trying to figure out how to extrude, edge blend and all that. GOODNESS.

I was at Ngee Ann yesterday for squash with Stephen, and he made me run like a mad cow! I actually met Dion yesterday for the first time, after hearing tons about him. Squash captain. Ngee Ann's Magnum cheerleading squad captain. and he's currently serving the nation in the air force. yea la he made me run like siao oso.
went for dinner after that, and their coach Mr Francis Wong joined us. It was hilarious la, we talked about everything, from clubbing to squash to everything else. I've never really talked to him before, was rather afraid actually. different school ma. LOL.
sigh. i'm so gonna miss those days.
oh, and Terence Ho told me about Amerpro being held from 4-9 Dec. Its gonna be so exciting, although i cant join due to school. haha. =)

i'm blogging in school now, heading to town later for a farewell dinner with simon meng and wr. Simon's going off to the States for 3 whole weeks, that lucky bitch. 3 WHOLE WEEKS LEH.
and when he's back, it's gonna be HANDBAG NIGHT AT TABOO AGAIN!

better rest my wary legs today, since i ran out of gas yesterday after playing so many sets with various people. gonna head to JJC tml for squash again with Onn Shaun. haiyo totally different court conditions though. i miss that place. and the BEE HOON! :)


May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just today he said down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for while
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him but maybe I'll just sing about it

i'm sick. yes AGAIN. and again and again.
i got food poisoning last sat. after chomping down beef hor fun at KIAN SENG RESTAURANT.
yes we went there again.
i had no idea why i woke up at 1am feeling so nauseous and everything, and proceeded to run to the toilet to puke out brownish shit. which was undoubtedly my beef hor fun.
and so had a fever on sunday. i took some pills, headed to church for youth service!
xuan's mum gave me some stuff she bought in china during her silk road trip.
i love the chunky blue bracelet!
very nice! sigh i miss coco. =(

so anyway, here i am with a very very bad flu and a very very bad cough.
i could barely open my eyes to cross the road this afternoon, tearing and everything.
good luck to me on fri.

got my comm skills presentation over and done with. finally. had to be decked out in a long sleeved shirt, skirt and court shoes. haiyo. oh and the very-flowery-smelling perfume meng gave. sheesh, i was sitting next to this lady on the train today, and my GOD she had the most strong perfume i've ever come across. think she sprayed too damn much. well, my nose acted up like hell and i had to shift. i cant smell anything now though.

i gotta sleep. SLEEP. i'll........update more later. =)

anna nalick's voice has a very calming effect on me.

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus'
Cause love doesn't hurt so I know
I'm not falling in love I'm just falling to pieces
And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
When all my resistance will never be distance enough

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

her voice is beautiful, really. her songs were used for a few Grey's episodes too!

the competition is nearing, and im so nervous about it. as the dates draw closer and closer. i can smell it already.

wow, 2007's just round the corner. sigh.

drivin away from the wreck of the day, and it's finally quiet in my head.